Shyness torments about half of the adult population. Not a little, right? But only a few try to deal with the problem. Others suffer secretly. Psychologists say: shyness can be overcome! Although this will have to try.
What can be done to overcome shyness?
First, and most importantly, you must understand that you are shy, and want to change it. And then act. You do not know how? Experts offer several proven tips.
1. Accurate diagnosis
Shyness in any situation is a rare phenomenon. You lose confidence when you feel threatened. It happens that someone panics when it is necessary to speak publicly, and in a narrow circle of acquaintances a person is open and sociable. So you should not label yourself as “I’m shy,” because then the problem will spread to all areas of life. You must track situations in which you feel threatened and try to cope with them.
2. Weekly plan
The tactics of “small steps” in achieving the goal will come in handy in our complicated business. Set simple goals and achieve them. If, for example, you want to expand the circle of friends, then develop a long-term plan. Do not try to reach the goal at once. Do not think that if you come to a banquet, then one evening will become the soul of the company. This is unrealistic! Failure can only aggravate your shyness. Begin with a small one: during a week in the street, ask passersby for time or how to get somewhere. You can also ask the seller in the store to advise you when choosing the goods. Mark your progress in the notebook. Then proceed to the next item in the plan. Be consistent. And for fulfilling the general plan, reward yourself.
Imagine a very brave and confident person. Determine what characteristics he should have, and then just try to play this person, as if you are an actor. It is important that you “play” this role for as long as possible, and do not leave it even when you have already “left the scene”. Remember that the longer you pretend to be someone, the sooner you will become that person. Changing behavior leads to a change in the way of thinking.
4. Be specific
A shy person concentrates on himself. He thinks that he is the center of the world, that everyone around does only that they watch him, think about him and discuss it. However, this is not so. Instead of exaggerating your problems, look for possible ways to solve them. Think about the details. If, for example, you think that someone has disliked you, do not isolate yourself from this person and do not blame yourself. It is better to think about why this feeling arises. Find a few possible reasons, and then calmly analyze them. Perhaps you really do not like someone. And maybe he ignored you because he felt unwell or in a hurry.
5. Distract yourself.
When you are in the company of people you do not know, do not obsessively think that now you will do something wrong and disgrace yourself. If you behave unnaturally, then, of course, draw to yourself unnecessary attention. But that’s not what you want, is it? Therefore, focus on others. Note that the lady sitting opposite has extremely beautiful earrings, that the dish that has just served is tasty, and the neighbor touched an interesting topic in the conversation. You will see that the conversation will quickly go in the direction indicated by you, and you will imperceptibly join the company and have a great time.
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